Learning To Float
In Greece they say: a relaxed mind in a relaxed body
I will try this week and the next to learn how to float. I’ve never been able to.
I’m almost 49. I’ve tried from…time to time. Apparently there’s a technique.
You must push your body up. Open your arms wide. Palms up. Chin up. Bare your exposed neck to the universe. Smile to the sky. Your toes should be above water. Maybe also your ankles if you can manage it. The best can even float their knees. I’ve tried all of these.
It’s not enough. I barely manage a few seconds before I sink. Let’s try again. I open my arms wider this time. I arch my back harder and push my chest toward the sun. I’m here sun! Hineni.
It’s no good. I sink again.
You need to relax. In Greece they say: a relaxed mind in a relaxed body. Let that sink in. Clear your mind. Forget the war. Take off your armor.
No, don’t forget the war, just put it aside for now. Take your helmet off. Drop your sword and shield. Don’t worry they will float beside you. You are not on the battlefield now. They will be there when you need them again.
Take another breath. It’s only the first day. I have 13 more. On this holiday, the first since the war started, I will learn to float.
I used to be jealous of people who know how to float. They’re not battling the sea. The sea is salt, it supports those who understand this. It should be easy to float, natural even. Some are born to floatness, some achieve floatness, and some have floatness thrust upon them. I have been trying to thrust floatness upon myself. I am trying to achieve floatness.
But the more aggressively I try to float goddamnit the more it’s impossible. And gosh knows I’ve tried my hardest. That’s what I saw as a child, this is how I am, you always try your hardest. You can always see who is trying their hardest, who is just trying, and who is just not even trying. To float you must not even try.
My firstborn son and firstborn daughter are born floaters, and I’m not jealous. I’m humbled by and proud of my children. I made them but I didn’t teach them to float. They know how to relax in the water. That’s the best technique.
We go again. Close your eyes. Give yourself to the sea with all its salt. Breathe. Hold it in if you need to. I need to, the water rushes over my face and into my nose. I sink. It’s ok. Try not to try again.
This is my first holiday since the war started 10 months ago. I will learn to float. And I won’t die trying.
This is my first holiday since the war started, and the first place I’ve gone to is Sparta.
///ends///