[05:10] woken up the crack of dawn by a loud bang and men speaking Arabic. jump out of bed, open the safe, take the gun out, run to the window, and then I remember, idiot, it's the construction workers building the new school opposite our building. calm down, put the gun away. remember this is actually good for property prices, a new school always drives up property prices. True but that is also going to create more traffic, the Wife says. Tradeoffs.
[07:35] daughters get into a knife fight in the kitchen over a hair band. no serious injuries but they’re getting late for school. Only one hair band in the entire house?? I cut the hair band in two and give each one half, like King Solomon. Parenting isn’t so hard.
[09:30] at the barber. his son is in a tank inside Gaza City, so I forgive him for being overly optimistic and cheerful, talking nicely to everyone, forcing himself to be positive. I usually don’t like talkative barbers, taxi drivers, or yoga teachers. This Barber has gotten a lot more “spiritual” since his son joined the Armored Corps. Peppers his sentences with “God willing” and “please God” and “thank God”. He says God will “reveal himself” really soon. “What does that mean? How is this reveal happening?” I ask. God’s going to come down and “reveal” himself, like a pervert reveals himself to a woman jogger in a park? My Barber is optimistic, “don’t worry about,” he says. “Please God it will be OK.” I’m not going to argue with him. Most soldiers who die in Gaza die inside tanks and armored personnel carriers. The enemy manages to blow the tanks up with roadside bombs, or set them on fire from within by throwing bombs through any open flaps. Hundreds of soldiers have died like that. Horrible way to die, burning to death inside a metal box. But I guess someone has to do it. Anyway, I like the way he does my hair even though his forced optimism is annoying.
[11:00] trying to answer a client's email but the US Ambassador just spoke and said something about this being ground zero in the battle of civilizations between good and evil…the battle of our generation and also every generation that came before us…the final battle is at hand…it's hard to get through your inbox when people are talking like this. How is anyone meant to get to Inbox Zero like this?
[12:30] a neighbor at the dog park who works at a very large global technology company with offices here says a big shipment of IT equipment arrived from a European port totally vandalized—boxes ripped open, equipment damaged, cords cut, FUCK SUPER-SPARTA graffiti scrawled on the machines. She had to send the whole shipment back. she says this kind of thing happens from time to time, but this is the worst she’s ever seen. The rest of the IT department now has to fix everyone’s computers, printers, switching gear, routers, dongles—all this stuff is falling apart but they’re engineers so they’ll figure it out. Be positive. Thank God for IT.
[13:00—15:00] At the firing range for gun training. Simulations today: Combat in day-to-day situations, correct target identification, shooting while sitting in a public toilet, shooting while driving, shooting while doomscrolling, shooting while holding shopping bags (don’t drop the bag with the eggs). must prepare for any scenario.
[17:00] Listen to the news. Army says our new laser beam is ready, battle-tested, and deployed, so there’s nothing to fear but fear itself. Excellent engineering! See, who needs IT equipment when you have such great engineers? The Central Bureau of Statistics says 83,000 citizens left Super-Sparta last year, that’s 50% more than the year before, which was already a record year. Many of them are skilled professionals like IT engineers and doctors. Losers. I don’t buy this whole “we just want a break from this madness, take a few years off, breathe a little” rubbish. What’s wrong with you people?? We’ve waited 2,000 years to die here and you’re going to throw it all away now? For what? A quiet life in a forgotten village far away with cheap supermarkets and no burning children in metal boxes?? Have you forgotten what it means to be Super-Spartans?Whatever, who needs all these engineers and doctors anyway…god riddance and good luck out there. Do you think it’s better out there? It’s not. The worse it gets here, the worse it gets there. I’ve got no time for this, switching off the news it’s not good for my blood pressure.
[19:00] News is on again. Former Secret Service chiefs say the new Secret Service chief is no good and will arrest the entire Supreme Court, the Attorney General, all political opponents, newspaper publishers, writers, cyclists, retailers.. basically anyone who isn’t with the program. I don’t understand what the problem is. Seems pretty simple to me: there’s a program, you get with it. If you don’t know what the program is just follow what everyone else is doing and you’ll be fine. Don’t ask questions, especially specific ones. I for one welcome our new Super-Sparta Secret Service Overlord.
[21:30—21:37] Notifications
Notification: Bank Fees discount heading your way! Economy Great!
Notification: Critical Alert: Rocket and Missile Attack heading your way! Trust the Laser!
Notification: New Podcast Alert: What if God reveals himself inappropriately?
Notification: SHIPPED: One hair band.
Notification: Four soldiers killed in a burning tank.
[23:00] Out with the dog again. He’s caught a fish in the pond—he only eats what he catches we don’t buy dog food in these parts— and he’s now fighting another dog who’s trying to rip it out his mouth. It’s a dog eat fish world out here. It’s the IT neighbor’s dog. I wonder if they’ll ever catch those IT equipment vandals.
[02:40] can’t sleep. put on the radio where the deep-voice late-night DJ calmly repeats our national motto-mantra: “Everything is possible and nothing is normal. Everything is possible and nothing is normal. Super-Sparta is Super.” Relief. Everything is possible and nothing is normal. Please God.